Some Thoughts on Emotional Eating

A wonderful woman I know through blogging, Coley, posted a comment to my last post and it's something I'd really like to share with all of you - if I can sort my thoughts enough to get it all out. WARNING: I'll probably ramble, but it should be good to talk about nonetheless. Anyway, here's the comment:

"Hey girl, have you done a post recently about how you're "feeling" differently about food and overeating? I've been really intrigued and looking within myself and observing others in the hopes of better undersatnding myself - the emotional side of staying fat, the 'numbing out' habit/using food as a drug, tendency - and I'm wondering how you're feeling about that, have you replaced those emotional habits? Stuff like that - how are you feeling towards your body - or have you noticed this transformation mostly in your head?

I also, being a bigger girl for as long as I can remember, am a bit worried about what I'll think when I see a smaller person in the mirror...

thought?"

Ohhh gosh. Coley, I've been reading your posts on this topic and a lot of your thoughts are really eye opening for me. I am most definitely an emotional eater, as I've admitted before, though I didn't realize it until well into my weight loss journey. It's so obvious to me now - the sneaking food, eating to feel better, getting unreasonably upset when I can't eat, etc. It's been going on as long as I can remember. Initially I just considered myself someone who loved food (which I do) and just enjoyed eating unhealthy things. But recently I realized that it is seriously more than that. Yeah, I love food, but not just because it's delicious and part of tradition and a "feel good" thing for me. I love it because it's my crutch. It's my way to "cope" with things I don't really want to cope with. Honestly, I haven't made much progress besides just REALIZING that I have this problem, but to me that's a big step in itself. "Numbing" is the perfect way to describe what I use food for... anytime I feel stressed or sad or mad or angry or upset or depressed, I want to eat. I want to think about nothing but the food and how it tastes and the calm that I know will come when I'm eating it. I get overwhelming sad and angry when I can't or don't. Now that I've realized that I do this, I'm trying to consciously talk myself through it and make myself realize that eating wont make it better, and the freedom of mind that comes with high calorie binges wont last. The problems will still be there after the food has gone. It's scary to me, really. I feel like I'm out on this flimsy limb and it's a 10,000 foot drop to the ground. It's like, if I can't use food to make myself feel better, what do I use? How do I deal? So no - I haven't found something to replace these habits, but I'm working on it.

There are still plenty of times when I get so down that I just don't care and I make the conscious decision to let go & eat whatever I want & however much of it. It's so crazy to me that FOOD, something that our bodies NEED, can be abused in such a way. I hate that out of control feeling I get when the urges are really strong. I hate that it feels so good - at least in the moment - to give in. I hate that it feels so bad afterwords.

That's at least a summary or of the beginnings of my feelings and thoughts on emotional eating. I'm doing better, but I know I have a lengthy road ahead of me. I think it's something I may need to talk to someone professionally about. Just depression, overeating, and feelings in general. I dunno, I think it could help...

Moving on...

I've been overweight my entire life as well. While it would be a lie to say that I don't notice that I'm getting smaller, it's also a lie to say that I don't still feel HUGE. And I don't mean in the cliche "I'm sooo fat" way, I mean, I look at my body in the mirror and I still see the overweight, round, double chinned, big bellied person. Now that I've missed almost a week of working out, it's worse, and probably only because I FEEL worse from not having moved my body at all.

That being said - I have days and times when I look in the mirror and think, "Wow, I'm actually getting thin!" And it feels good :). I feel accomplished, and a little more confident. When I'm eating healthy foods and exercising consistently, these good days come more often. And it's only now, that I'm putting all of this into words, that I realize this. Hmmm, I need to remember that. I have more GOOD days when I'm being good to my body. To be happy and feel good about myself and about life in general, I need to take care of myself physically.

Sometimes looking at my reflection feels weird - like it's not really me.... I just don't recognize myself. But it's not necessarily a bad feeling. It's something that I definitely think is going to get better over time. The more comfortable I get, the more like "me" I'll start feeling.

Sorry if this all sounds jumbled and crazy. Hope some of you can relate!

Carissa

P.S. - Did I tell you all that I got a JOB?! YAYYYY!!! I started the Monday after finals (IT'S FINALLY SUMMER WOOOO!!!!) so today was my second day. I really like it! :) I'm so thankful and happy to have found it and to have been hired!

xo!

The Botanical Gardens :)

Today my hunny & I went to the Botanical Gardens. It was sooo beautiful! I can't wait to go back in May when everything is in full bloom!! :) Just wanted to share the beauty with you!

What does 100 calories look like?

Check out this quiz someone of 3fc found... 

http://www.menshealth.com/100calories/

I got 15 out of 24.. which apparently makes me a smart snacker, lol! How did you do??

Selling my jeans!

A couple of days ago I tried on every pair of pants I own. I expected some of them to be too big, but never did I ever think that they would ALL be too big! 

As it turns out, only ONE pair fits!! ^ those are all the ones that don't! ^ So I'm selling them on ebay to try & get some moolah to buy some new pants. Cheeeeck 'em out!

SIZE 20 BLACK PENCIL SKIRT

SIZE 18 REGULAR HIGH RISE JEANS

SIZE 18 LONG JEANS

SIZE 18W BLACK & GRAY DRESS PANTS

SIZE 20 REGULAR JEANS

SIZE 20 REGULAR JEANS

SIZE 20M LEVIS

:)

Oh, the irony

You know how Subway's main advertising theme is the fresh fit subs, and how Jared's always telling us how he lost weight eating there? Weeelllll the boo & I went to Subway for lunch today, and check out what I saw at the register:

Uh, yeah, ONE WILL HURT! At least me anyway, ha ha. Just found it kind of ironic that they advertise being a healthy option, but once you're there they try to convince you to buy all the unhealthy things too! Ah well... I still love my 6 inch subs.

Have Some Honey, Honey!

There is an article today on sparkpeople.com that talks about the new findings in honey - it has some nutrients as well as antioxidants. Liza Barnes writes, "Generally, the highest levels of antioxidants come from the darkest colored honey." Honey can be used as a sweetener or in tons of different recipes.. I don't know why I don't have any! Apparently it's also really good for your skin and hair. The article does mention certain people who should AVOID honey, like those with diabetes or babies under 1 year of age. But for those of us who can, it may be beneficial to have a little honey here & there :)!





Read the full article here.

WOW.

Water Worlds & Super Earths

I just found this article and thought I'd share. Pretty interesting!!

This brings up a topic of debate: aliens. Or other life forms besides our own. Do you think they exist?

Personally, I think the "alien" that the media has portrayed over the years - big head, small eyes, green, etc - COULD be real, but it seems more likely that ETs look completely different than humans, as they would have to live somewhere where the climate is completely different. Ya know?

I will say that I'm one of those people who has to see it to believe it. But at the same time it's like, how is it possible that out of all the millions and billions of other planets and solar systems out there, we are the only one with life?

Just my thoughts :). So yeah - what do you think?




PS - I'm not trying to offend anyone or get into a hardcore debate about this, just wanted to share my opinion and see what all my wonderful followers think! :)

Paranormal Activity

I went and saw Paranormal Activity last night.. and let me tell you, I have never been more horrified in my life. I literally SCREAMED. But so did everyone else in the theater. It had me freaked out for a couple of hours afterwords too. There were people that just got up and left, and I was almost one of them. Ha! No movie will ever be able to top that.

AND. While we were leaving the theater, I swear someone touched the side of my head twice. My friend was behind me, but swears he didn't do it. Idk.. just kinda freaky!

I don't even know if I would recommend seeing it.. I mean, if you like scary movies, def. go see it. But it seriously takes a toll on the heart...

xo!

Before & After Pics v. Cartoon-style

Before: 249 / After: 149

...Interestinggg!!

I did this on www.mvm.com ..you can dress them up & everything! Ha.. You can also upload a picture of yourself to make it more life-like, but my picture was too big or something. So the face and hair isn't me, but the body's pretty darn close! Hopefully the after will be me, too!

Keeping Produce Fresh

I loveeee fruit & have been trying to eat more vegetables, but I usually get to eat them with one or two meals and then they go bad. So, I googled ways to keep produce fresh, and found out a rather interesting fact & cool product!

I didn't know this, but fruits like apples release a gas called ethylene that triggers other produce to ripen, causing everything in your fridge to wither. The EGG is a small, well, egg that has packets of potassium permanganate to oxidize the ethylene, helping your fruits and veggies to stay fresh for longer.

I think I'm going to buy it.. I'll let you guys know how it works! ;)
Click here to read about/purchase the EGG!

xo, Carissaaaa

Some Mantras

I will choose WHAT
exercise I will do each day,
not IF I will exercise.

*

All things in moderation is fine,
but some things need a LOT of moderation.

*

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.

*

It's easier to stay on plan
than to get back on plan.

Quotes & Sayings :)

I'll try to post a few new quotes every once in awhile, just to keep our spirits up & give us a little push when we need it! Here are some that I love and that you might find inspiring:

If you keep on doing what you’ve always done,
you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.
- W.L. Bateman

You’ll never achieve extraordinary results by taking average measures.

Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn't fall there.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

Success is a journey, not a destination.


Always,
Carissa

Please Keep Jen & Her Family In Your Prayers

Jen, aka Prior Fat Girl, recently lost her mother. She was going for her daily walk when she was hit by a car backing out of a driveway. The strength Jen and her family have and the forgiveness they've given the driver of the vehicle is something I cannot put into words. The memorial service (there are videos of it on her site, click the link above) was beautiful and incredibly symbolical. I sat here watching it and literally just cried. I can't imagine what Jen, her sisters, her father, and the rest of her family and friends are going through. Her mother was so obviously a wonderful, loving person. Please visit her site to offer her encouraging words, and keep Jen and her family in your prayers.