This is the last thing I expected to feel after working out.

Guilt. Guilty for leaving him with his grandma (she works at the gym) while i walked for 30 mins..... after being away from him all day, i just wanted to hug and kiss and snuggle my little boy. I also know that its time to get in shape (that walk taught me a lesson today!). I know, i know- being healthy is one of the best things i can do for myself and my family, but i just cant help wishing that i would've spent that time with him instead :(.

It was so hard to leave this morning. Work went by fairly quickly though, and it wad SOOO good to see him when i got home. My sister answered the door with Bentley in her arms and i almost cried tears of joy at the sight of his sweet little self!

Anyway... weighed 177.8 this morning. So there's that.

Im off to finish feeding and spending time with baby! Oh, and homework.... ugh.

-Carissa, a jugglin mama

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What size am I?!

Went shopping for some back-to-work outfits... I was pregnant when I started this job, so everything I had to wear was maternity! I can prob still wear a good majority of it, but it was nice to get some pants with no elastic in the waist and some new shirts :).

I walked into the first store and just kinda stood there, staring at all the different aisles, clueless as to where to even start. I had no idea what size of ANYTHING that i would fit into. I finally just went to an area i was familiar with-plus size. I picked out some shirts in 1X and went to try them on.... and wouldn't ya know it, they were all too big! I had no idea where the "regular" sizes were so i just got a cardigan and tshirt in XL that i'd found & we headed to old navy. There, i tried on larges and had much better luck. I also got my pants there.... tried 16s, too big! :O. 14s are a little snug around the waist, but i figure my body is still changing from a home for two to room for one!

So im ready for tomorrow as far as wardrobe goes... just not in any other way. I've been so sad today because i don't want to leave my little baby boy :((. On the bright side, at least i can work out tomorrow.


*sigh* .... see you at tomorrow morning's weigh in.

~Carissa

PS-follow me on twitter (@kuhrisuh) to get the weigh in results first each week!

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Goals of the aggressive variety

Again, posting from my phone in the middle of the night. You'll prob get lots of these, ha ha!

Ive got some goals that require announcing for accountability's sake. I'm cleared to exercise starting Monday, and im ready to get after it! Hopefully this enthusiasm lasts. I remember when i first started this journey, i wanted to lose 100 lbs in one year. Pregnancy put a (very worthwhile) hold on that, and now my 2 yr anniversary is approaching in July. Id like to make my dream a reality and finally reach that 100 lbs lost mark this July. That's 30 lbs in 4 months. A hair over 7 lbs a month, which makes just about 2 lbs a week. I realize that those last pounds are often thrmost difficult to drop, but im gonna keep at it until i get there. Who's with me? What are your goals for summer?

I also need to say this: another goal is to complete ALL my assignments for ALL of my classes. Im so close to finishing, and i've gotta finish strong. Stay on my case about this!!

Here's to a busy, positive, goal gettin future!
xo,
-Carissa

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Baby weight & Breastfeeding

Okay, let's just get right to it. When I found out I was pregnant, I weighed 174. Thanks to morning sickness (more like all day sickness), I was 170 at one point. But that didn't last long! At my last doctor appt before King Bent arrived I weighed in at 211. So I gained right around 40 lbs - half of what I'd lost! Boy was it rough seeing that "2" on the scale again....

Fast forward 5 wks, and I'm sitting right around 180. You can't imagine my relief when I saw that number. I was really scared that it was going to take me another 5 months to lose that weight again. I haven't been counting calories or dieting really.... baby has honestly been my number one focus. Funny how your priorites can change in an instant!

I have been attempting to make a conscious effort to make healthy choices, though they often have to be very quick to both cook and eat. Im sure lots of you moms understand. Doctor released me to work out starting Feb 28th... I'm really excited! It's gonna take effort to fit school, baby, work, home, and the gym in, but I have to be determined to make the time for it.

One thing that has helped me drop the "baby weight" so quickly is definitely breast feeding. I've read that you can burn anywhere from 300-500 calories per day producing milk - now THAT'S what I call a workout! ;) It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I love breastfeeding for many reasons:

•Gives me a really unique bonding time w/baby. Being able to provide for your child so fully & naturally is one of the most beautiful things a woman's body was designed to do.

•Health benefits for baby. I've read and heard that one of the many health benefits your baby receives from bf'ing is in his brain development. CLICK HERE for a complete list of all that breast feeding goodness!

•Health benefits for mommy, including but not limited to that awesome calorie burn!


I know this post is all over the place... bear with me. Im running on minimal amounts of sleep here! Ha ha

Hope you're having a great start to your week!
-Caaaarissa

Introducing... Baby Bentley!

Hello, from a brand new momma & her sweet baby BOY! Thank you for all your comments - you are all so sweet! I had such an incredible pregnancy and delivery (though I might not have described them in such kind terms at the time, ha ha), and I really want to share it all with you! So, here goes...

Pregnancy was, well, pregnancy. I was sick, hungry (mostly for potatoes), tired, energetic, happy, sad, nervous, excited, annoyed, round, glowy, busy, and all those other pretty and notsopretty things that come along with growing a little person.

37 weeks

By the time January rolled around, I was so ready to meet our little angel that I could hardly stand it - while at the same time being really nervous to be new parents. I'm so thankful for how well my pregnancy went, and I can tell you now that I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Now, onto the birth...

Due date was January 14th. I went to the doctor on the 11th, and to my dismay, I was not dilated and he had only moved down just a bit. Don't get me wrong, I wanted him to come when he was ready, but I was pretty ready myself! My doctor said that if I hadn't delivered by my next appointment (the 18th), we would schedule an induction for the 21st. I was happy that there was an end in sight!

I worked throughout my pregnancy, and that last week I was feeling SO tired, and was going to bed at like 8pm every night! The day before my due date, I guess I must've looked as crummy as I felt, because all day at work people were asking me if I felt okay and telling me that I could go home if I needed to. My boss made a joke, saying, "I hope I don't see you tomorrow!" I just laughed and told him I was sure I'd be there - I honestly thought I was going to have to be induced! But wouldn't ya know it, around 11pm that night I started having contractions! At first, the thought of contractions didn't even cross my mind. They just felt like really bad back pains. My boyfriend was the one who actually suggested that maybe I was going into labor... and I was reluctant to believe it. I had contractions alllllll night long... 3-8 mins apart. The next morning we got up and ate, and they started letting up a little... prob around 15 mins apart.

I hadn't felt baby move since before the contractions started, so my mom suggested we call the hospital just in case. They told me to come in so they could monitor the baby. Turns out I was dilated to a 3! My doctor had me walk around the maternity floor for about an hour, and by then my contractions had started up again pretty strong. They admitted me around 4 pm. Contractions were.... painful. I had asked so many people what they would feel like, but it really is something you can't explain. They started in my back, but then radiated throughout my whole middle. They didn't really feel like cramps to me... more just like... CONTRACTIONS. Ha ha!

Anyway, I did get an epidural. I'm so happy that I did! I had contractions all through that night and the next day. At one point, because of baby's heartbeat's time to recover after each contraction, they thought that I was going to have to have a c-section, to the point that they were preparing me for surgery. I was freaking out... the doctor was saying things about the cord possibly being wrapped around him, and I was starting to panic. Thankfully, I had a great doctor and she stayed in the room to monitor us most of the time. I had to sit in the most uncomfortable, straight up position, because that's what baby liked best. Eventually, I started feeling the contractions again, and it was time to start pushing. The doctor said we really had to give it a good try, because baby wasn't going to deal with the stress for very long. After just 20 minutes of pushing (and 27 hours of labor!), our beautiful, sweet, perfect, wonderful little boy was born!

January 15th, 2011

2:44 am, 6 lbs 15.9 oz, 20 in. long

It was the most amazing experience of my entire life. I cannot describe the love I have in my heart for my little baby son... there are just no words. And to be able to share that experience with my boyfriend... the look on his face the first time he held his son was indescribable.

I could see the love flowing from him. Our love has not only grown stronger, but our love for this sweet boy - who we named Bentley - grows more and more every day. He was so supportive throughout the entire pregnancy & all throughout labor and birth... I really could not dream up someone better than him to share this with. ♥

After he finally took his first pee pee, we got to go home. It was around 9 pm... and now, here we are, one month and four days later. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, but every sleepless night has been worth it. He is absolutely perfect in every way... his smiles, his newfound "coos" and his snuggles are my favorite things in the entire world. :)

I am the happiest momma in the universe, I'm sure of it!!

He was a little jaundiced, but luckily nothing that required any treatment and it went away on its own. He's growing wonderfully! At his first check up, he had gained 1 lb and grown 2 inches! My tiny man :)

I still can't believe he went from this little seed...

...to this perfect baby :).

He was born on Saturday, and school started Monday. Needless to say, I've been overwhelmingly busy. I go back to work in one week (SOB!), so I'm trying to get in all the snuggle time I can with my little lovebug. I'm hoping I can keep up with school - which I should probably be working on right now. I'll post about my weight gain and where I am now soon... for now, my little heartthrob needs some lovins :)


xoxo!

-Carissa, a proud mommy