Cravings pt. 2

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

My last post was about emotional eating. And while there are times when my "cravings" are a symptom of something more, I also simply have straight-up CRAVINGS! I've been trying to pay attention to those cravings and the different stages that I go through. Here's what I came up with:

[1] Thought enters mind
    An example I'm going to use is chili dogs. The other night my boyfriend had made some for himself and I was having one of my usual meals. As soon as I smelled the chili and saw the melty cheese, I knew I wanted one. And BAD.

[2] Try to rationalize eating it
     I tried to tell myself that I'd have just ONE and THAT'S IT. And that will fit into my calories. Plus, I should give into my cravings every once in awhile so that I don't over-do it later. So it's okay, right?

[3] "Screw it" mentality

    Well, if I'm being honest, I know that just one chili dog wont fill me up. And I'll probably crave another anyways... and they'll be SOOO good. I mine as well just eat however much I want and enjoy it.

(and if I get this far...)

[4] Desperate need to give in
    At this point I feel like I absolutely, without a doubt NEED TO EAT A CHILI DOG. I can't think of what will happen if I don't... and I honestly feel like I can't stop myself from giving in.

[5] Resist. Resist. Resist.
    I think that says it all. It's literally a mental war... I have to use every trick I have up my sleeve to convince my head not to have any chili dogs. I literally sit, doing nothing but going back & forth in my head - okay I'll eat it; WAIT. NO. YOU DON'T NEED IT; and so on.

[6] Finally, either proud that I didn't eat it or guilty for giving in
    This is the end of the craving cycle for me and it's either 100% good or 100% bad. I've either given in or I haven't. I'm proud to say that I DID NOT eat a single chili cheese dog that day :). 

This is just an example of what I personally go through when I'm having one of those flat out cravings. Does this sound like what you guys have experienced, or is it completely different for you?

Cravings pt. 1

There are plenty of reasons that I'm overweight. My absolute love of food is one. My habit of eating when I'm bored, to celebrate, while I watch TV, etc is another. I've always assumed emotional eating was part of it as well.. but this past week I realized that it's a much bigger part of my weight problem than I ever realized.

Some really crappy news surfaced on Thursday in regards to my family. It's really way too complicated and lonnnnnng to get into, but it was shocking and hurtful and it made me mad and sad and confused and more. Thursday I did ok - I talk to the boo about it and had a good cry and stayed within calories. Friday morning I woke up feeling miserable. I didn't have anything necessarily healthy to eat for breakfast, but I was able to keep it within my calorie limit. I ran a couple of errands after that and picked up some Long John Silvers for my honey. That's when I wrote the previous post... I was feeling overwhelmingly PISSED because I wanted to eat. Or at least that's what I thought it was.

I used all the willpower I had and decided to take a nap rather than eat. When I woke up I still felt as sad and mad as I had been. I was hungry (it WAS lunchtime). At that point I decided I was going to have chicken strips from Braums.. and it was like I instantly felt better. I hadn't even eaten it yet and I already felt the calm of the calories coming over me.

Eating makes me forget about all the things that are wrong; it makes me feel content, happy, calm... at least until the food is gone. Then comes that horrifying guilt that so many of us are all too familiar with. I knew it was coming, but it didn't matter. Those chicken strips and fries and chocolate chip shake were my way to get rid of the emotions that are inside me - even if it was just temporary.

It seems like everyday I keep hearing more hurtful things. Earlier today I had almost convinced myself to have pizza tonight... just so I could stop feeling sad for a little bit. But I know food isn't going to fix anything. I need to face it and DEAL with the emotions instead of shoving them into my mouth. It's just hard.

 Hi, my name is Carissa and I am an emotional eater.

I want to eat.

Friday, March 26, 2010

And I'm pissed because I can't or shouldn't or whatever. Why should it make me so genuinely mad to not be able to eat what the people around me do? UUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(.

Mid-week Weigh In

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Since I didn't post a weigh in on Sunday (I'm getting really bad about that, I know), I decided to most a mid-week update :).I'm down to 185, five pounds from my last weigh in a little over 2 weeks ago. I'm happy with that!!! Especially considering the amount of off plan eating I've done over that time. But I'm still truckin' along, doin' my losin' thing!!! ;) Hope you are all staying healthy & happy! xo!


Am I Dreaming?

Friday, March 19, 2010

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Do you know what size those jeans are?? 14s. FOURTEENS. My mom and sisters went on vacation and she brought me back a shirt, earrings, necklace, and these jeans. I was so scared to try them on... I was going to wait until I got to 179 to buy new jeans... but THEY FIT! I can't believe it.. I'm so happy! :) What a great motivation to get me back in the gym! I'm sick right now (blah!).. but the gym opens again on Monday so I hope I'll be better by then! We're also under a winter storm watch here in the Texas panhandle, so we're just waiting to see if/how much it's going to snow.

Seeing as how it's so cold outside... I think it's time to get my snuggle on :). Hasta!


Gluten Free is Me

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Even after having my gallbladder out, I'm still having problems with my stomach. It runs in my family, so I assume it's something I'll probably always have to deal with to some degree. But after doing some research and talking to my mom & boyfriend, I've decided to try going gluten free and see if it helps. The restrictions are kind of a bummer, but not something I can't at least try. I'm avoiding anything made with wheat or processed with any kind of wheat product. To start out with, I got potatoes, rice, yogurt, cheese, peanut butter, corn tortillas, and veggies & fruit. Even if it doesn't end up helping, I think this is going to be good for my overall health. It's forcing me to eat fresh rather than frozen and cook more actual meals rather than putting a frozen dinner in the microwave. Sooo we'll see how it goes! :)

Today's dinner: baked potato & zucchini, corn, and onion medley

I haven't been doing well the past week or so... but I'm trying really hard to get back to where I was.. eating right, working out. I'm on spring break this week, so I'm getting the house clean and just trying to relax and hang out. Hope you guys get a chance to do the same :).

as always,

Selling my jeans!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

A couple of days ago I tried on every pair of pants I own. I expected some of them to be too big, but never did I ever think that they would ALL be too big! 

As it turns out, only ONE pair fits!! ^ those are all the ones that don't! ^ So I'm selling them on ebay to try & get some moolah to buy some new pants. Cheeeeck 'em out!


60 calorie treat :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

During our most recent trip to the grocery store, the boyfriend picked out these Jello Mousse Temptations cups.
Now, let me just say, I don't really like these as they are. It's pretty much a foamy jello chocolate pudding... I think it's the texture that gets me. HOWEVER, if you freeze these bad boys, the morph into a 60 calorie cup of deliciousness.
You have to make sure that you let them freeze all the way through, but once they're frozen they taste like chocolate ice cream. No joke.

Perfect for those chocolate cravings, especially for an ice cream lover like me :).

Did you know?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Stretching can reduce stress. According to this site (there is lots of other info about this on the web as well), stretching exercises stimulate receptors in the nervous system that decrease the production of stress hormones.

...more stretching for me!

Weigh Day

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Well, 4 lbs in 2 weeks! And only ONE POUND until the 180s!! :) :) :)

I know I haven't been posting AT ALL... it's a combination of being busy & just not really feeling like it :/. Sorry yall. I hope you're all doing well! I have a stats test, a marketing assignment, and a management quiz to take today. Procrastination = FAIL!

Love you guys! (I know it may not feel like I do right now, but believe me, I do. I'm still reading blogs and getting inspiration from all of you! Thank you for the support!)