The last 3 days have been.. mixed. My boyfriend and I just hung out and played cards and board games and he spoiled me with time together. It really was fun! But my eating was SO OFF. Seriously, it was like a 72 hour binge. I'm mad at myself because school starts next week; I'm mad at myself because I was so close to 199; I'm mad at myself because I wasted three entire days that could have been put to good, healthy use.
I obviously didn't post a weigh in on Sunday and I probably wont until next Sunday. I know it's important to face it, and I did weigh, but I don't want to record it because it's ridiculously high and I feel it's a direct result from all the food I've shoved in my mouth since Friday. But I will be honest with you and say that this morning I was 210 lbs (ugh). The terrible truth is that I know my body so well from past binges (like, every night this weekend I predicted exactly what my weight would be the next morning and I was always right - pathetic) and so hopefully I will drop this gained weight fairly quickly. I'll record it next Sunday and if it's still up, well then I guess it's still up.
I'm so reluctant to write this because I don't want to disappoint anybody. I'm embarrassed that despite my positive attitude, I still did exactly what got me to this overweight state. Honestly, this is so genuinely hard for me. I don't always eat perfectly. I have before, did this weekend, and could again lose my way. I still feel lost. I should be able to go grocery shopping sometime this week and get stocked up on all my regular foods.. until then I'll be going with what I've got and trying my best to move out of this slump and get back to where I was.
It's a lot easier for me to act positively on my blog than it is in real life. That's what's gotten me this far - trying so hard to be positive and doing my best to listen to myself. So, I guess that's what I should do? I know I will come out of this, and it might be hard right now, but hopefully this time I'll have learned a lesson and I wont have set myself back too far.
Thank you for always listening and being so understanding,